Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Moms... This One's For You!!

WHY GOD MADE MOMS

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:

Why did God make Mothers?

1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?

1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?

1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?

1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mom like me.

What kind of a little girl was your mom?

1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?

1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?

1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?

1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms and dads?

1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?

1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?

1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair.. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?

1.. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean.. I'd get rid of that.
2. I 'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

No Point At All...

There is no point at all to this video except that I think it's way funny!



Enjoy!

PS... Happy Birthday Grandma!

Monday, October 19, 2009

Evolution of a Clown Cake

First, you need an idea.
I came up with this crude little sketch at work, about 4 am. This clown cake was to be chocoalte. I recommend Duncan Hines Chocolate Fudge. (If anyone has a nice dense chocolate cake recipe, I would love to have it! Until then, Duncan Hines has the best cake mixes on the market.)




Now it's time to select pans and bake. Since I make wedding cakes, I have "petal pans." I chose the 15" petal pan for the face...
a 1/2 sheet for the hat...
and a 6" petal for decoration on the hat. I had some left-over batter, so I made 2 - 6" squares.

This is kind of hard to see, but I traced the pans and made cutting templates. I trimmed the top of the large petal flat, so the hat would butt up against it. Then I scooped out two of the bottom scallops to make a chin. The 1/2 sheet was cut into a hobo-type hat. I actually made the hat taller and used the small squares for the bowtie. The small round cut-out was for the nose and the other for the center of the bowtie.
I cut everything out and froze the shapes overnight to make them easier to handle.
Then, made up a heap of icing and
TaDa!!!
I bought an icing tip and an 18" decorating bag before my last wedding cake and it is an awesome time-saving combination. Also, true RED (and black) icing takes an insane amount of gel food coloring.
I used a new icing recipe this time and I really like it. It is easy to make and use and it tastes better than most "white" icings. It makes up a bunch, but stores for 3 months in the refrigerator (or so the recipe says). It comes from The Taste of Home Baking Book.
Bakery Frosting
2 cups shortening
1/2 cup nondairy creamer (like powdered CoffeeMate)
1 tsp clear vanilla or almond extract
1 package (32 ounces) powdered sugar
1/2 to 3/4 c water
Beat shortening, creamer, and extract. Gradually beat in powdered sugar. Add enough water for desired consistency. (Less water for piping/decorating; more water to spread easily) Store in refrigerator for up to 3 months. Bring to room temp. before spreading.



Thursday, October 15, 2009

Another Jewel from Will... a.k.a. "DMV Style Healthcare"

I fought Facebook for quite a while, but I signed up earlier this year after succombing to peer pressure. Reconnecting with a couple good, good friends - that I had completely lost track of with really no hope of relocating - has been an unexpected blessing. One such friend is Will. He and I were two peas in a pod our freshman year of college at Idaho State. He didn't return the next year and I left midway through sophmore year.... I tried a few times through the years to find him, but he seemed to vanish like a fart in the wind. God has taken us both on amazing journeys that have led places that neither of us would have imagined way-back-at-19-when-we-knew-everything.

Anyway, this amazing friend of mine somehow finds the coolest video tidbits. I am very anti-"government-run healthcare." Here's a funny little spoof... "DMV Style Healthcare"



Too Funny! But So True!

Thursday, October 1, 2009

The New Schedule

So... I really like my job. The hours take some getting used to, but I am doing pretty well with that so far. (I seem to sleep really well every other day.) One of the residents today told me I was "a good girl." I take that as very high praise from her. I've also decided that getting Parkinson's disease now ranks high in the list of things I fear the most.

My "Cake Lady" hat is back on too. I was asked to make a clown cake for a women's retreat this weekend. I got the basic design sketched last night at work and spent some time looking at pictures of clown faces. I'll post a picture of the finished product next week. Unless of course it totally flops, then there will be no photographic evidence.