Introducing... The Chemo Chronicles... Episode 1

Episode 1: Welcome to the Show!

AKA... Cylce 1: AC +/- bev

The particular chemotherapy cocktail I am on right now is called "AC-T," or "AC then T"...

Adriamycin (doxorubicin) and Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide) are the "AC." I have 4 rounds, or cycles, of this cocktail... through IV every three weeks. After the first 12 weeks, we switch to Taxol (paclitaxel or "T") for another 12 weeks... so a total of 8 cycles. This is what my oncologist calls the "Gold Standard" breast cancer chemo cocktail.

I am also participating in a double-blind, phase III clinical trial for a drug called bevacizumab (Avastin). I get this also through IV every three weeks for all 8 cycles.

Neither I nor my care team know whether I am getting the "bev" or the placebo, which is why it says "+/- bev" above. Barring any complicating medical factors, we'll all be "unblinded" around Labor Day. (My doctor can find out at any time it becomes necessary for my care.) The study has 3 "arms," creatively called A, B, and C. 20% Arm A, placebo group. 40% Arm B, real drug. 40% Arm C, real drug plus.... if I end up in Arm C, I will continue to get the bev every three weeks for an additional 10 cylcles (30 weeks). I'm actually kinda hoping for Arm C.

Monday was a long day with a haircut and a stop at Micheal's to look at yarn before the doctor. We were at the clinic from 12 noon to 5:40. After a quick sandwich at Subway, we got home around 7. I went straight to the couch and was in bed by 9.

I have to have blood drawn before every treatment and then see the doctor, so I'm there for an hour before my treatment even starts. Because it was my first treatment, the chemo drugs were run in a little slower so my treatment took 4 1/2 hours. The remaining AC cycles, I should only be there about 4 hours; being on the study adds time because the study drug has to go in too. The Taxol treatments are shorter (2 hours), but weekly, so kind of a trade-off.

On a funny side note: Adriamycin aka doxo-"rubi"-cin... rubi like ruby red is comically known as "The Red Devil," because of its ruby red color... it makes you pee orange... like cheetoh/tangerine-y kind of orange ...like immediately after it goes in and for the next day or so... kind of funny... the nurses tell you that right away, first thing as they are giving it...(it goes in as an "IV push" not an infusion, which means the nurse manually pushes it in slowly over about 15/20 minutes from a couple big honkin' syringes rather than hanging in a bag and dripping in) Good thing too because I had to pee as soon as she was done putting it in... totally orange!

Side Effects...

I'm not thrilled about losing my hair, but whatever... I'm hoping to lose my leg hair too. Not having to shave for the summer would be what I consider a "Perk." I'm on the hunt for big earrings and funky scarves, and my Mary Kay lady gave me some free eye shadows and purple eyeliner to play with, so bring it on! I am still anti-wig; they're itchy.

Honestly, I was mostly afraid of the nausea. I really, really, really hate throwing up. My doctor had told me that it would be ok, but I was still very skeptical and preparing myself for the Worst... "The Worst" being spending days languishing on the bathroom floor, worshipping the porcelain god.

Prior to the actual chemo drugs, I get a cocktail of IV anti-nausea meds. Emend first, then Zofran and dexamethasone together. These meds take about 30 minutes total to infuse. I also have presriptions for Emend and Compazine for the next couple days. Emend is wonderful stuff that you take once a day. Compazine is an "as needed" med. Even though the Zofran gave me quite a headache for about 24 hours.... AWESOME COMBINATION!

I did spend 3 days at a constant state of semi-queasy, but I Never Threw Up! for which I am profoundly grateful.

It was worse in the early mornings around the time my husband was getting up (I think it was because my stomach got empty overnight), so he would get me a piece of squishy-white-bread and I would pop a Compazine and that would get me through until I got the kids off to school. And then in the evenings it would get bad again, so some saltines and a Compazine and I was ok. Thank you Lord for minor miracles.

Other than that... I was just very, very tired... collapse-on-the-couch, can't-keep-my-eyes-open-but-can't-quite-sleep, watching-tv-is-a-lot-of-work, too-tired-to-crochet tired. I usually had a couple little energy bursts. Enough to get a shower or load the dishwasher... except Thursday... Thursday was the worst fatigue. But then I perked up quite a bit on Friday and I felt great onSaturday! Sunday was pretty good, just took it easy in the afternoon.

I am now in what is called the "nadir." It's the time when my white counts are at their lowest, usually between 7 and 10 days after treatment. They start to rebound by about day 14. By 21, they are supposed to be back to normal so we can start all over again. But this week, I have to be really careful because I am at high risk of infection. The nurse actually told me that if I have a fever over 101 or chills to call, day or night, because that may be the only sign I have that an infection is starting. I was never germ-a-phobic before, but I am now.

I have also decided that I am not going back to work right away as I had planned. I have up to 26 weeks of short term disability through work, and I'm going to use it. Both the clinic social worker and my oncology nurse said that these first 4 cycles are very physically demanding and since I have a physical job (not a "desk job"), they both heartily recommended not working if I don't have to. I'm supposed to "stay active," but it's not like I don't have "Life" to keep me active enough between home and church... besides, cancer has started to feel like a full time job all by itself.

By the time I run out of disability, I will be close to starting school. My doctors all say that I should still be able to go ahead with my school plans for the fall. So I am moving forward with that. I should have all my paperwork in this week and will find out by mid-June if I have a spot for sure. Classes start the end of August.

Through it all, God is good. My prayer blanket got a real workout this week. It was never far from me exept when I was close to My Honey. My husband is awesome! My kids really stepped up this week and helped out. I am so proud of Rob and the maturity he is starting to show. My friend helped out getting the older boys to school. My sister brought me strawberries from Cosco. My church family helped with meals and any other support needed. It's good to be so loved.

Hair Today...Gone Tomorrow

This is my pre-chemo hair... badly in need of a shampoo, but hey... that's what the salon is for right? As a kid, it was STICK STRAIGHT... now it has developed a wave of it's own... weird.

Bye Bye Ponytail!

A little Sassy Cassie showing...

My ultra-cute stylist Paige at the ultra-posh Madison salon we ended up at.

My new do... blown out with that big round brush they use....
I could never do hair...

I can't do the round-brush-thing to save my life.
Wish I had a photo where I had bothered to put make-up on, but I just haven't been that ambitious this week.


I don't love it... I like? it... most of the time.... which is fine, because it's only gonna be here another week or two and then you'll get some pictures of my summer chrome-dome.

I curled it up yesterday for church and got tons of compliments.
I just look sooooo much like my mom when I have short hair.
Good thing she's cute!

Chemo Day Is Here

It seems very surreal, but I start chemo tomorrow. Today, I went over and talked to my neighbor's daughter...she's 55.... She went through it just a few years ago. I needed a pep talk. Her advice... Get ice cream after every treatment.

My doc's office is just down the street from Cold Stone Creamery so I think I will have to do just that. My friend Terry is going with me... just cuz she's a sweetie!

I have decided to have genetic testing; the genetic counselor thought there was probably only a 10% chance or so that I have one of the known BRCA 1 or 2 mutations, but I want to rule it out. It will also help me decide what to do next.

And I get my hair cut tomorrow morning. I'll post before and after pics when I feel up to it.

Prayers Welcome.

Weirdness...

My dear friend H. is so right on here. I can't even add to it, except to say, "You Go, Girl!"

Really?! My Dog Is So Stupid Sometimes

OK. So yesterday I gave my dog an Easter gift of the ham bone and maybe that was my bad... although he was really happy at the time. But today he puked on my carpet.

This is not really not a big deal in and of itself. And then he went and layed back down on the couch and went back to sleep. Typical.

I was busy and didn't immediately clean it up. {The kids are back to school (Hooray!!!) so it wasn't like it wasn't going to tracked around.}

When I got up to clean it up, he popped up his head and looked at me. I went to throw away the yucky stuff.

Then.... THEN... the stupid dog gets up and throws up... again... 18 inches from the first spot.

Like really.... he had to wait to puke again 'til I cleaned up the first batch...
and he couldn't even hit the same spot?

Is that like when your kids can't poop in a wet diaper; they have to wait for a dry one?

I Think I Need A 12-Step Program ASAP

This is my stash. Completely covering my queen size bed.

I wonder if there is a local chapter of Yarn Whores Anonymous?

Funky cotton. I have no idea what I'm going to do with it, but it makes me think of saddle shoes and poodle skirts for some reason. Just too fun to leave in the store.

Generally I never buy this brand. It's itchy. However, my 10-year-old wanted to crochet a hat and scarf out of it so I have 3 skeins. After one brief attempt on his part, this has been added to my project list.

Some actual wool. The pink/brown was for Granola Heather. The off-white tweedy one was made into a natural-fiber, non-girly wrap for Dr. Kristin. It had that nice turquoise as trim. The purple is as yet unassigned, but it will have that dark (blue/burgundy/brown/purple) varigated with it. The two little skeins are a soooo soft merino wool blend for Granola Heather to make me a hat or two for my soon-to-be-bald head. I really dislike pastels; I need color!

Micheal's was having a yarn sale and I found these lushy varigateds. I love the one on the lower left; it feels like summer. The pink one might end up for my grandma. She likes pink.

Yarn sale strikes again. Nice purple and a green to go with above-summery-varigated.

Caron Simply Soft. Totally acrylic (fake/man-made) but really soft. What do you think... plain pink or varigated for Grandma? I have a striped pattern that is going to be so awesome with these vibrant colors. My mom got a birthday shawl in that turquoise with black accent.

Yes, I'm sorry to say, that is Vanna White. Vanna's Choice. Works up well and those one-color-with-white mixtures are really pretty. Again, black for accent. Really makes the other colors "POP."

And my homespun collection. The ones in the top row have all been "shawled" already, as has the second from the left. I had a request for another one in that gold-blend so I had to get some more. Personally, I think it's kind of ugly, but the woman I gave it to loves it and her co-worker liked it so much she asked for one in the same color. To each their own I guess. I love the others though.

And somewhere is a plastic bag with some BEAUTIFUL blue varigated that I splurged on last week... just for me....

Now, if only I could find it...

Shawl #20 was handed out today. It was the red homespun with some of that lighter red varigated on the edges. It made a few people smile. God is good.